“In all seriousness, I kind of actually like being alone.”
As a result of the COVID-19 pandemic, many of us are currently stuck at home under lockdown. While some of us love the idea of being able to stay at home in the comfort of our own company, others have been struggling without the regular human interaction they’re used to on a day-to-day basis. In his latest video, US vlogger Nathan Zed explains how we can all become comfortable with being alone.
Nathan starts off the video by talking about how he’s enjoying being single. While everyone, from the media to our parents, is constantly telling us about how great being in a relationship is, Nathan points out that there’s pros to being in a relationship and being single, sharing that he feels not enough emphasis is placed on the positives of being alone, “The chance to give yourself 100% of your energy is an amazing thing.”
He then moves on to discuss what we’re all currently faced with: government-mandated social isolation. “One thing I’m not used to is forced loneliness,” he admits, sharing that this is the perfect time for he and everyone else to become more comfortable with their own company, as the entire world is on pause and we’re all doing the same thing: nothing. (That includes you, David Dobrik!)
According to Nathan, there are four different aspects to being alone: being single, experiencing FOMO, chilling and being alone with absolutely no distractions. He also makes the point that you can feel lonely at any time, not just when you’re by yourself, “It’s hard to be alone without feeling lonely, but you don’t have to be alone to feel lonely.”
One thing we can relate to the most regarding this part of the discussion is FOMO – or fear of missing out. It’s a major part of today’s society and our social lives, with many of us often attending events and doing things because we worry about what we’ll be missing if we don’t. Nathan has experienced this, especially while he was in college, and he shares that it was a large part of his mentality back then.
“FOMO was a big factor in why I could not be alone and why I was constantly going out back then, to the point where I didn’t even enjoy going out half the time,” he explains. “I just did it to be out. My mentality was, even if I’m not having fun, at least I didn’t miss out on whatever could have happened to me.”
Now that he’s graduated, Nathan has begun to appreciate what he calls the “quality over quantity” aspect of social situations. Whether it be the people he’s with or the experiences he’s present for, this mindset has allowed for events to become more memorable for him.
Toward the end of the video, the discussion moves to how Nathan has been managing being by himself, something he hasn’t always been able to do. “I would always distract myself from myself – I still kind of do this – whether it’s social media or talking to other people or watching a show, always keeping my brain in constant motion,” he says. “I’m trying to make sure that I never have to take a second and listen to myself.” This is something he’s working to fix in a healthy way, which is why he’s turned to meditation. By allowing himself 10 minutes a day of not worrying or doing anything, he’s been able to focus on the now and tell himself that nothing before or after that moments matters.
Despite this, he still worries about the present from time to time and acknowledges that our minds have a way of making us believe a distorted reality. “What you think in your head is not the truth,” he shares. That’s why we need to take measures to keep ourselves grounded, which could be something as simple as writing down what we know to be true and reminding ourselves of that throughout the day.
Nathan closes out the video by saying that, while he’s getting better at enjoying his alone time, he’s still working on being able to just be, and he lets us know that it’s okay to be struggling right now. “If you’re having a hard time with this, remember, it’s okay,” he reminds us. “It’s 100% normal.”
This is definitely a video we’ll be bookmarking in order to refer back to it later.