“Today, you are lucky. Today, you get to witness the greatest talent show of all time.”
During this time of lockdown, we’re all reaching for fresh entertainment to enjoy, but look no further, as Becky James has just created what she’s dubbed “the talent show from Hell” – better known as Bambatty’s Got Talent.
Firstly, we’re introduced to judges the judges, Ciarán Carlin and Dan of Ranty, and are teased with the “talent” we’re about to witness. “Thousands applied, with all walks of life all wanting to get their hands on £100,” Becky explains, as she previews exclusive footage from the auditions, leaving us on the edge of our seats. (Or on the verge of pressing the “golden buzzer”.)
The virtual curtains rise and performances commence, revealing the first act to be “a disappointment to his parents”. “That’s a yes from me!” Becky determines, but is defeated by the rest of the judging panel with immediate nos.
But not every talent show runs as efficiently as we hope. “I don’t actually know what’s going on,” Wigan from Scotland declared. “I was supposed to be on with two different people singing It’s Everyday, Bro.” Luckily, her co-star appears and the duet begins. The judges react with hilarity, but cut their number short, with Ciaran ending with “The state of that!”
There is a glimmer of hope with contender Cian, as he serenades viewers with Defying Gravity. “You took me to the musical without me even stepping outside my door,” Becky expresses, resulting with two (and a half) yeses and an unexplained emotional reaction from Ranty – wicked, if you ask us.
The music continues with Don’t Stop Believin’ on the trombone, but in showbiz, expect the unexpected. Their next contestant sung Bonny Love’s Burn Iver. During the performance, viewers focus on Becky as her alarm goes off halfway through, causing a challenge of composure from the panel. But the surprises don’t end there, “I just found out some massive news… I found out I was pregnant,” the candidate announces, cause a celebration of yeses across the board!
Candidates share occurring allergies, recite videos and perform maths tricks, but the video takes a turn when a participant says “the prayers” with their feet whilst balancing juice on their head. “I write everything” was an impressive start for DK and got through with three yeses. Influencer Tom Williams also makes an appearance, stacking cups at a rapid speed, leaving us mesmerised.
A variety of talents are showcased, continuing with raps and voice impressions, but Leo shows us some “beats”, leaving the creators (literally) speechless. This causes an early exit for him, but Britney has “entered the chat” and shocked the nation, using a razor to shave off one eyebrow.
Their final act is playing the triangle, with a surprise interpretive dance number. “I loved the surprise factor,” Becky shares, with them taking home the £100 prize and celebrating with an encore performance. “Awe, it’s just as good without the triangle,” Ciaran concludes, as the search for Bambatty’s Talent comes to a close.
The video finishes with Becky’s voiceover, “And there we have it! Take my money and get off my property. Thank you one and all for coming to watch and take part in such a spectacle.” Who would’ve thought that quarantine could provide us with a creative cabaret? There was an excellent collective of expertise, and fingers-crossed applications open for another series in the foreseeable future.