Zoe Sugg has once again taken the reins and led the YouTube world in its invasion of mainstream media.
Having survived the first attack back at Christmas (when she enlisted the help of her partners in crime, boyfriend Alfie Deyes and brother Joe Sugg, to sing in Band Aid 30), she appeared this week as a contestant on The Great British Bake Off for Comic Relief, flooring the judges with a three-part meal including stiff peaks, a nude lip, and a buttery biscuit base (wait, wrong show).
We can’t even begin to imagine how delicately the Daily Mail will report on it following their previous coverage of Zoe, but rest assured they will most likely take the stance that she is some kind of YouTube alien. We, on the other hand, know our online stars pretty damn well, which is why we’ve come up with this list of proposals for the TV executives. Yep, here are 13 TV shows that need YouTubers on them…
Let’s get the obvious one out the way: Alfie was made for BBC’s Pointless. Talk about a fantastic conversation starter for when Alexander Armstrong asks him what he does for a living?! LIVE THE BRAND, ALFIE.
2. The X Factor
The X Factor gets through judges as quick as a UK vlogger drinks tea, and this year we’re thinking the line-up needs some variation.
Variation in height, that is: BriBry to take Louis Walsh’s seat with only genuine feedback, an underlying hatred of the show, and Saz Close (she’s so dreamy) separating him from Simon Cowell (who would be constantly twitching his nose at the raw talent sitting beside him).
3. RuPaul’s Drag Race
Wanna be a judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race? You need sass, the ability to deliver brutal honesty, and confident winged eyeliner. Louise Pentland, we think you’ve got what it takes (she’s interviewed Kylie, she can do anything). Good luck! And don’t, uh, mess it up…
4. Come Dine With Me
Come Dine With Me needs a strong, four-part cast to ensure good entertainment:
- SortedFood because they would start the week off with a bang. Drool. Everywhere.
- Rosianna Halse Rojas because we want to see how she would adapt avocados into every part of the meal, and entertainment.
- Evan Edinger for endless pun-based humour, to test the breaking points of the other contestants.
- Lindsay Atkin because we imagine she’s the bomb-diggitty at good wholesome food, probably has a nice warm house and also has a certain son she could call on to play ukulele for the other guests. Linsday to win. P.S. adopt us.
5. The Chase
Benjamin Cook vs. The Chaser. Think of the arguments. That is all.
6. Have I Got News For You
Imagine Have I Got News For You with team captains such as the timid Jazza John or the faint-hearted Hannah Witton, both battling it out until the audience forms an angry mob and the producers demand the topic moves on from politics.
7. All Star Mr & Mrs
Testing their relationship to the extreme, Trent Owers and Luke Shayler would make a fine couple on All Star Mr & Mrs (#POWERcouple) though we’d also love to see Jimmy Hill and Chelsea Fisher having a go too, just for the inevitable lols. Special allowances for both pairs to have more than one drink pre-recording would also be encouraged.
8. Total Wipeout
Marcus Butler likes the odd challenge video now and again, right? Perfect Total Wipeout material. Imagine the gifs.
“HeeeeeelloOO-” *GIANT BOXING GLOVE TO THE FACE, BOOM.*
9. Cash in the Attic
In contrast, there’s something quite endearing about the thought of a 6ft-something – and very out of place – Jim Chapman being made to rummage through a car boot sale while being followed by the camera peeps from Cash in the Attic.
Gary C could be there too. Just imagine Gary having a dig upstairs in the attic and stumbling across his old purple furry friend (get your mind out the gutter). Why leave Cheeky upstairs gathering dust when he could be bringing in the pennies down the auction house?
You just know the elderly would love both of them, and they’d have the cutest reactions if they actually made any money. Lots of jumping and possibly squealing (maybe some sobbing in Gary’s case).
10. The Weakest Link
We reckon Phil Lester would be an amazing contestant on The Weakest Link. After all, he does… wait… this already happened…
Let’s try that again…
11. Jeremy Kyle
‘Were you already pregnant when you cheated?’ Phil desperately awaiting the result of the paternity test of Dan Howell‘s baby… wait, that happened TOO!
(Before the Phandom explodes, it didn’t really, Phil was just in the audience. You probably know this already…)
12. Judge Judy
We know that we don’t like to think about this sort of thing, but it is something we should consider. What would happen if Dan and Phil filed for YouTube divorce?
Who would host the Radio 1 show? Who would win the rights to the AdSense revenue on their gaming channel? And more importantly, who would get custody of the Phandom? Enter Judge Judy.
Though, to be honest, it’d probably descend into madness when Jack uses the letters to correctly spell ‘Facebook’. Dean would protest and insist on calling it ‘Fac-e-book,’ resulting in Jack calling Dean a constant-vowel-constant-constant.
It’d be a nightmare for Dictionary Corner. They’d have to use UrbanDictionary.com instead of the standard Oxford Dictionary of English. It’d be riveting.
Who else would make great TV?
Who would be Stephen Fry and Alan Davies in QI? Who would make a great Room 101 guest? Let us know by tweeting @TenEightyUK or on Facebook, check out our dream YouTube line-up for Band Aid 30, and while we’re at it can somebody please give Lex Croucher a role in Game of Thrones (with a story arch that lasts more than one season).