Calum McSwiggan aims to break the stigma around open relationships.
We like to think we’re pretty sex positive in 2018 and, while we have come far from where we were just five years ago, there is still a long way to go. As Calum McSwiggan says, “there is a lot of judgment and stigma around open relationships and polyamory.” His video aims to break this judgement and start an important discussion, something we love him for.
He starts off by saying that when people talk about open relationships, some are quick to judge, which he immediately disagrees with. Rather than being angry, he shows empathy as he adds that “they come from a place of ignorance and miseducation.” The more you learn about something and have the all facts, the more you can understand it and accept it.
During the video, he talks about the differences between polyamory and open relationships. He talks about those who are polyamarous simply having the capacity to feel love and compassion for more than one person at a time, whereas those who are in a open relationship are non-monogamous and don’t necessarily conform to traditional ideas around relationships. As Calum puts it, it might mean you’re “open to the idea of threesomes.”
In the second part of the video, Calum openly discusses his reasons behind wanting an open relationship and why he is an advocate for them, mentioning his previous relationship which saw him being cheated on.
He is also quick to champion monogamous relationships – as long as it what YOU want. As he points out, “it is fine to have sexual attraction to other people and not act upon it” and “there are other people out there who do not want to close themselves off from sexual experiences.”
Throughout the video we learn that one of the reasons people opt to take part in open relationships is a lot more than just sex. It can be everything to do with the thoughts and feelings of the people involved and very little about promiscuity, which is the assumption many make about open relationships.
It is very easy to judge something you don’t know much about, but as Calum says “leave your judgement at the door,” and let us see both monogamous and open relationships for what they are, expressions of love. Who doesn’t want that?!